The Mod Puma turned and glared at him. “Bing, how would you like the polka dots on your boxers to migrate up to your eyeballs?” Feline-like, she lunged off the turntable and into the snow, executed a few practice karate kicks with her taloned feet, and held her clawed hands stiffly in front of her face, ready to chop.
Yarn Man grimaced and covered his groin with his red mittens. “That’s the real Mod Puma, all right,” he conceded.
The psychedelic cat relaxed her stance. “I thought so,” she said.
After the snow settled, as it were, it was Trent who approached the grotesquely over-muscled Silver Age Megaton Man as he stepped off the platter. The vintage Man of Molecules cut a dashing figure in his dark blue body suit with red cape and light blue boots and gloves, and introduced himself. I was too scared to approach either him or the Mod Puma.
“Clyde, you may not remember me, but I’m your cousin Trent. This is my partner, Stella, and this is our little boy, Simon.” Trent held his son’s hand proudly.
The Silver Age Megaton Man’s cyclopic red-lens goggles gave him a rather perplexed, vacant expression as he rubbed his enormous chin. “Cousins? How do you figure, civilian?”
“Uncle Farley is my uncle,” said Trent. “I believe he’s your uncle, too.”
The goggles flickered as Clyde scanned Trent’s ordinarily-proportioned body. “Figures, I’d have a cousin like you. You must be the runt of the Phloog family.”
“I used to be Megaton Man,” Trent said indignantly. “Until I swallowed…oh, it’s a long story.”
Clyde looked down at the little boy. He seemed genuinely pleased to meet Simon. He knelt down to shake his hand.
“And what are you going to be when you grow up, little man?” The Silver Age Megaton Man asked. “A big, manly megahero, I suppose.”
“I’m getting glasses,” said Simon, proudly. “I sit too close to the television.”
“We had his eyes checked,” confirmed Stella. “He gets his first pair next week.”
Clyde rose to his feet and looked at Trent with an even more disdainful expression now. “Bookworm, eh?”
Kiddo stepped forward, her infant strapped to her torso. “This is also your cousin, Benjamin Franklin Phloog,” she said, proudly. “He’s Farley’s and my son. I’m Beatrice Bryson. When Frankie grows up, he’s going to be a Megaton Man, too, just like his pappy.”
“Good Lord,” whispered Dana, who was standing nearer to me. “The little stinker’s already a holy terror.”
“My, you people certainly have been busy in this dimension, starting families,” said Clyde. “This here’s Alice James, the Mod Puma…”
Mama, who was standing nearby, flinched when she heard her name. I saw her lips move: “I’m Alice James,” she said.
The Mod Puma took the Silver Age Megaton Man’s overly-muscular arm. “We never had any children,” she said. “And now I’m too old. But we’ve had some good years together.”
The Silver Age Megaton Man’s white face blushed a bright crimson. “Alice, please,” he said. “We don’t want to shock people. They might not be as, whaddyacall, open minded about, you know…”
“A mixed-race couple?” said the Mod Puma dismissively. “Clyde, for heaven’s sake, it’s the eighties—even in this dimension.”
“How long have we been gone, anyway?” said Clyde, eager to change the subject. He caught sight of Rex Rigid, who was standing by the Time Turntable. “Rex, when did I first disappear? 1962 or ‘63?”
Rex Rigid punched numbers into his handheld remote control, using it as a calculator. “Clyde, you didn’t start from this universe,” he said, “because we didn’t meet until 1965. No, wait, maybe it was 1958…”
“What universe is this?” asked Soren, who was watching all of this intently. “Isn’t this the only universe?”
“As far as I’m concerned, it’s the Youthful Permutations Universe,” said Tempy to his saber-toothed fellow Y+Them. “These legacy megaheroes will just never let us have a universe to call our own.”
Yarn Man was trying to count on the fingers under his red mittens, but was only becoming confused. “That ain’t right, Liquid Man,” he said. “It had to be early seventies.”
“You’re all wrong,” said the Mod Puma. “The Silver Age Megaton Man had been lost for at least a decade before I even joined the Quartet. Then one day I stepped on the Time Turntable and never came back.” She expected this to jog Clyde’s memory; she looked at him for affirmation, but he only gave her a dumb look. She dropped his arm and put her clawed hands on her hips. “Don’t you remember?” she scolded. “We only met for the first time in that other dimension.” She pointed a clawed thumb and the inert Time Turntable.
“Maybe we got lost at different times,” said Clyde, “But I knew you from before I got lost on that thing,” he insisted. “You weren’t even the Mod Puma then; you were just plain Alice James when I met you at one of those art Happenings.”
Mama was having an out-of-body experience as she watched this lover’s spat.
“Oh, who’s keeping track?” said Yarn Man, who extended his woolen arms around both the Silver Age Megaton Man and the Mod Puma. “The important thing is, it looks like the Megatropolis Quartet is back in business—we’re a team again! Welcome back, you crazy kids!”
“Bing! Oof!” they cried as they were hoisted off the ground.
By this time, Mama had sidled up to me, Avie, and Dana. Her expression was one of horror and fascination, but she finally found her voice. “Who is that?” she asked. “That woman in the psychedelic cat suit?”
“I told you, Mama,” I replied. “That’s you from another dimension. That’s Alice James, the Mod Puma. I recognize her from the comic books.”
“That’s how you were able to disarm those bank robbers this afternoon, Mama,” said Avie proudly. “In another reality, you became a megahero. You’re a natural-born crime fighter.”
After Bing set Clyde down, the Silver Age Megaton Man spotted my mama. A look of startled disbelief registered on his face.
“Alice!” he cried.
“I’m right here,” said the Mod Puma.
“No, I mean the other Alice.” Clyde Phloog walked over to us, never taking his eyes off my mama. “How’ve you been, Alice?” he asked.
“I’ve been all right, Clyde, since you been gone,” said Mama. “These are my two daughters, Clarissa and Avril.”
The Silver Age Megaton Man looked over each of us, smiling. “You have fine, beautiful daughters. I’m glad to meet them. That’s real fine to know you had yourself a family, Alice. That’s real fine.”
I couldn’t take my eyes off Clyde. He stood only three feet from me; I couldn’t speak.
The Mod Puma came over and took Clyde’s arm. “Who are these people, Clyde?”
Clyde only stared at Mama; he was almost as speechless as I was.
“You’re Alice, too?” said the Mod Puma. “So am I.”
“You’re Alice2,” said Avie, God bless her, taking Mama’s arm. “This here’s Alice1. She’s our mama.”
Mama and the Mod Puma stood staring into one another’s faces for what seemed like an eternity. The Silver Age Megaton Man kept turning his head, looking at each of them.
Sirens sounded and came to a stop at the end of the snowy field we all stood on. I turned, expecting to see some of the Detroit cops who had formed a cordon around the Civix Savings and Loan, come over from Woodward Avenue now to shoo us megaheroes, friends, and family off the Michigan State Fairgrounds. Instead, it was a police escort of four motorcycles surrounding a long, black Lincoln Continental with official federal government license plates.
A chauffer got out and rounded the vehicle. Out the back door came Preston Percy, followed by my grandma, Dr. Mercedith Robeson-James.
Grandma Seedy saw us, of course, but made a beeline toward Rex, who stood over by the Time Turntable; he was still fiddling with his remote. Seedy had a good twenty years’ seniority over Rex, but when she came up behind the old man and slapped him as hard as she could in the back of his head, she made his entire liquid body quiver and wobble, and sent the remote flying again into the snow.
“You lose my daughter for ten years, Rex,” she chastised. “At least you finally got her back; took you long enough, though. You and your doggone inter-dimensional platter.”
“Seedy!” said Rex, once his double vision cleared. “I mean, Dr. Robeson. It wasn’t my doing, honest.” It was funny seeing the aging wunderkind deferring to my elderly grandma.
Both Avie and I recognized her, but Mama hadn’t seen her mama since she had disappeared from her life before World War II, when Mama was still a little girl.
“Oh, dear God,” I said.
“What the heck is going on?” asked Daddy, who had sidled up to Avie. “Who are all these people? I can’t tell ‘em apart without a score card.”
“Mama’s going to have a heart attack,” Avie whispered. “As if meeting herself from another dimension weren’t enough—seeing Grandma Seedy again after all these years is going to be overwhelming.”
Secret Agent Preston Percy sidled up to me. “A meeting of every Crime Buster in Detroit, I see,” he said. “Figures you’d be in the middle of it, Missy.”
“Not everyone,” I said. “How did you know we were here?”
“We didn’t, until we were already en route. Seedy just flew in from Washington; she wanted to surprise your mother. We only heard about all the commotion at the Civix Savings and Loan over the radio.”
Alice2, The Mod Puma, ran and hugged Seedy. “I never thought I’d see you again, Mama!” she cried.
“I never thought I’d see you, dear,” said Seedy. “For ten years, I thought you were dead!”
My mama, Alice1, whispered to me and Avie, “Who is that old woman?”
Avie took Mama by the hand. “That’s Seedy James, Mama. That’s the mother you haven’t seen since you were a little girl.”
Avie and I had already met Grandma Seedy when she visited me to check on the Ms. Megaton Man uniform she’d made me in the Doomsday Factory in New Jersey. Avie and I had told Mama about it, but she hadn’t believed us, or quite been able to accept it.
I watched as Mama and Grandma Seedy’s eyes met. Seedy let go of the Mod Puma and walked toward my mother.
“You must have thought I died,” said Seedy.
“More than forty years ago,” said Mama.
Kozmik Kat sidled up to my knee. “You wanna fill us in, Missy?” he said. “’Cause if I know you, Ms. Megaton Man’s sussed things out about as well as things can be sussed out.”
For the benefit of Koz, Preston, Avie, Dana, Clyde, Soren, Tempy, and anyone else within earshot, I recited as much history as I had been able to piece together. “The universe split apart in 1940. Thereafter, there were two dimensions—the Megaton Universe and the Meltdown Universe. Grandma Seedy was one of thirteen scientists trapped in the Doomsday Factory at the time; she had a split-second to decide which universe to join. She went with the Meltdown Universe, and went home to daughter, Alice2. But in the Megaton Universe, our Mama—Alice1—never saw Seedy again. Until now.”
We watched as Grandma Seedy hugged both our Mama and the Mod Puma, Alice1 and Alice2.
“Clarissa speaks the truth,” said Rex. “I was there when the universe split—I tagged along with Seedy—I was just a whippersnapper wunderkind then. We worked on the Project Meltdown team, although I should have gone to the Megaton Universe—that was all my brainchild. But Elias Levitch—that usurper—and his team ended up turning Farley Phloog into the Original Golden Age Megaton Man—feh.”
Liquid Man pointed to the Time Turntable.
“I created this device to cross over again, back to the dimension I should have been sorted into,” he explained. “It took years of development, and lots of tests…”
“Lots of tests!” said Yarn Man. “That crazy gizmo never worked!”
“Another scientist from the other dimension worked on a portal herself,” Rex continued. “Between the two of us, we must have crossed over so many times in the past thirty years that we inadvertently created some kind of double-back alley between the Megaton and Meltdown Universes…”
“And maybe one or two others in the bargain,” said Jasper, who was craning his elongated neck to watch over our heads.
“The only problem is, this can’t be happening,” said Rex, waving the remote at the two Alices. “It’s theoretically impossible for counterparts from alternate realities to cross over and meet one another—not without the whole world blowing up. It’s like matter and anti-matter, or so I would have thought.”
“Boom!” said Simon, who had gotten loose from Trent and was now yanking Kozmik Kat’s tail.
“Hey, cut it out, Son of Megaton Man!”
“I knew I recognized Clarissa’s mother from somewhere,” said Bing, “the first time I met her down in Trent and Stella’s basement in Ann Arbor—before Alice hauled off and kicked me.” reflexively covered the crotch of his polka dot shorts with both red mittens. “Just like the Mod Puma used to do—when she was a member of the Quartet and I tried to get fresh. Ouch!”
“Obviously, Rex, counterparts can meet,” said Stella, who was studying theories of Multimensionality herself for her Arbor State senior thesis. “They’re doing it right now—Alice James and Alice James are hugging, and nothing’s blown up yet.”
“That’s the power of Sisterhood, baby!” said Dana, making a fist. With the other she stroked Stella’s arm.
“Yeah, how do you explain that, Professor Know-It-All?” said Koz.
“Well, it’s certainly unprecedented in my experience,” said Rex. “This sort of thing never used to be able to happen; the Time Turntable would reject a passenger if their counterpart already existed in another dimension.”
“That platter must really be on the fritz,” said Yarn Man.
“Or maybe the laws governing the Multimensions no longer apply,” said Stella. “If there ever were any.”
“Perhaps the power of love is what has brought the universes back together,” said Dana, cradling her baby.
Avie, in the meantime, had scooped up Simon, and was tickling him.
“I can think of at least one other pair of counterparts that already coexist in this dimension,” said Trent.
“Who?” asked Stella.
“You’ll just laugh at me,” said Trent. “Everyone will just laugh at big, dumb Megaton Man, trying to make an educated guess.”
“Oh, come on, tell us,” said Koz. “You’re not as big and dumb as you used to be.”
“I know who you mean,” I said, snapping my fingers. “Your creator—I mean, Megaton Man’s creator—Dr. Joe Levitch, and his evil ‘twin,’ Julius—Doctor Software. They’re not twins at all, are they? They’re the same person—counterparts from opposite dimensions.”
“Woo!” said Trent. “Clarissa has sussed this out.”
“That would explain a lot,” said Preston, who was smoking one of his long, slender cigarettes. The son of Elias Levitch—in one dimension, he was orphaned, like Clarissa’s mom. Only he went criminally insane.”
“Dr. Joe was the creator of the Silver Age Megaton Man, too,” said Clyde, his goggles blinking. “How’s the old fellow doing?”
“The Levitch family, feh,” said Rex. “Those plagiarists. I’m the creator of Megaton Man.”
I suppose Grandma Seedy explained things sufficiently to her two Alices: one—the Mod Puma—whom Seedy hadn’t seen since the seventies and blamed it all on Rex; and the other—my Mama—whom Seedy hadn’t seen since Mama had been a little girl. I suppose all of this was beginning to sink in for Mama—Alice1, as far as me and Avie were concerned—although Mama seemed to be experiencing a mixture of both joy and disbelief at the same time.
The two Alices were getting along, at least, and Mama was proud to introduce us.
“These are your two daughters, Alice,” said Mama. “I mean, my two daughters—Clarissa and Avril.”
Alice2, the Mod Puma, sized up me and Avie much like the Silver Age Megaton Man had done before. “So, in this dimension, I raised a family instead of becoming a megahero”—she swept her clawed hands down the sides of her torso—“and keeping this fabulous body… huh.” And she really did have a fabulous body, for someone my mama’s age. “It might almost have been worth it.” She tapped Mama on her belly. “But still, you don’t need to give up that easily, Alice. I’ll show you some exercises that’ll tone you right up.”
The Silver Age Megaton Man was watching all this with a smirk. “I told you I met you before I met you, Alice,” he said to both Alices. “I’m not likely to forget a woman that I’ve…” He suddenly turned to me. His cyclopic goggles blinked.
Daddy put his arms around me and Avie. “I’m proud to call these girls my daughters,” he said to the Silver Age Megaton Man and the Mod Puma. “Although I can only take credit for one of them, so to speak.”
The Silver Age Megaton Man suddenly had an uneasy expression on his face. He said to me, “Why are you dressed in a Megaton Man costume?”
Daddy whispered in my ear, “Aren’t you going to say something, Sissy?”
I looked at Clyde Phloog and swallowed hard. I extended my yellow-gloved hand.
“I’m Ms. Megaton Man, sir,” I said. “I’m very glad to meet you.”
We shook hands, and Clyde turned to my mama. “Alice, is this…?”
Mama shook her head. “Yes, Clyde. Clarissa’s your daughter.”
“Golly, that crazy gizmo really works!” said Yarn Man, dabbing his eyes with his red-and-white-striped scarf.
“You can’t use that tagline for every occasion,” said Kozmik Kat. “It doesn’t get a laugh if it’s overused, or not used appropriately.”
“It’s the only one I’ve got!” said Yarn Man, sobbing uncontrollably now. “I’m a sucker for a sentimental reunion!”
“Clyde told me when he met me that it was déjà vu all over again,” the Mod Puma said to Mama. “Naturally, I thought it was just a pick-up line, although he’s such a charming fellow. But it was true, isn’t it? He really did know me, didn’t he?”
“In a sense, I guess he did,” said Mama. “He is a charming fellow.”
“Love ‘em and leave ‘em,” said Stella, taking Simon off of Avie’s hands with one arm and putting her other arm around Kiddo and her baby, Benjamin Franklin Phloog. “Isn’t that just like a Megaton Man?”
“I’m right here,” said Trent.
“Men,” sniffed Dana derisively.
I turned and noticed Soren and Tempy holding hands.
“Are they a couple now?” I whispered to Jasper.
He shrugged his shoulders.
“Impossible,” said Rex, who was still fiddling with his remote.
Suddenly, the Time Turntable crackled to life; dots of energy formed above the center spindle.
But this time, it didn’t bring anyone from another dimension; it just disappeared.
“Drat!” said Rex. “C’mon, Bing, let’s go.”
The winter afternoon was now growing dark, and the lights of the holiday decorations were flickering on all around us in the drive-thru park on the Michigan State Fairgrounds. Rex and Bing said their goodbyes, clambered into the Q-Mobile, and flew off; Soren, Tempy, Jasper, and Kiddo, along with Benjamin Franklin Phloog, said they had an event back in the Community Center at the First Holistic-Humanist Congregation of Cass City to attend, climbed into the Y+Thems van, and drove off; and Trent, Stella, and Simon, along with Dana, their new boarder also said their goodbyes, got into the Q-Wagon, and headed off, presumably for dinner in Little Italy.
The Silver Age Megaton Man and the Mod Puma were chatting with Preston Percy while Avie conferred with Mama and Grandma Seedy. After a huddle, Avie came over to me. “We’re heading back to Mama’s apartment. Should we bring them?”
“We won’t all fit,” I said. “Mama needs to spend time with Grandma Seedy, so why don’t you and Daddy go and cook up that ham.”
“What are you going to do?” asked Avie.
“I don’t know,” I said. “We’ll figure something out.”
Clyde, Alice2, Preston, Kozmik Kat, and I watched as Mama and Grandma Seedy climbed into the front seat of Daddy’s pickup while Avie hopped in the back cargo bed for the short ride. My sister waved to us as they drove off.
Preston’s limo driver turned on the ignition and went around to open the back door on the side facing us. Preston stomped a cigarette in the snow, turned away from Clyde and Alice2, and walked over to me.
I always wondered why I had never heard from Secret Agent Preston Percy after me and the Y+Thems inadvertently trashed Megatonic University, the secret underground laboratory complex under Arbor State. So, I asked him about it. “I expected you to chew me out,” I said. “Why didn’cha?”
“You were doing us a favor,” said Preston. “ICHHL and Pentagon Office 17a have been at each other’s throats for years, over that facility and a few others. After you chased off B-50 and Big, Blue Bulky Guy, the president took it out of Finley W. Greeley’s purview and handed it over to us. The Ivy Covered Halls of Learning is building Dr. Joe a completely revamped facility, and your grandmother’s going to advise.” He thumbed at the Silver Age Megaton Man and the Mod Puma over his shoulder. “Good timing, too. We can discuss it over dinner.”
“Dinner’s on you,” I said, as we made our way across the snowy field to the limo. “’Cause me and my parents—to say nothing of Koz—ain’t got no pockets for money in these uniforms, do we?”
The Mod Puma looked at me as if she wanted to tell me she wasn’t my mama, but didn’t know what to say.
The Silver Age Megaton Man only said, “Woo!”
END OF VOLUME II
Next: Edge of Nineteen Eighty-Four
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Archival Images:
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| Figure study of Clarissa and her cape, 2020, colorized. |
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| Original pen and ink on Strathmore 400, 11" x 14", 2020. |
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| Original concept sketch of the mod puma, 2018. |
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All characters, character names, likenesses, words and pictures on this page are ™ and © Don Simpson 2020, all rights reserved.
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