#118: Never Even Kissed a Girl

Back at the apartment, I showed my sister Avie all the clippings Virginia had made for me concerning the other Ms. Megaton Man’s exploits. “Look at all this incredible stuff I’m doing, Avie—I mean my Counterpart is doing, the other Ms. Megaton Man; Frankly, she’s making me look bad—teaming up with the likes of the Doomsday Revengers and Megatropolis Quartet and battling Megavillains on the East Coast, breaking up subversive, insurrectionist militias in Maryland, battling more robots in Troy with the Troy+Thems. Good Lord, I’ve even been to Chicago and Wisconsin by now—only I’ve never once been to Chicago or Wisconsin in my life—battling evildoers. How will I ever live up to her tireless heroism and courage once she’s gone? When all I’ve done in the meantime is grade a few papers? And I’m still behind on my own submission for the upcoming Hypothetics conference!”

#117: America’s New Nuclear-Powered Hero

The following evening, Mama, Alice Too, Clarissa Too, and I all sat at a table in the Union Stripe Tavern watching the election returns on the TV above the bar. My Counterpart was not wearing her Ms. Megaton Man uniform, of course. Instead, she wore an Orchard Lake University sweatshirt and jeans and sneakers Mama went and bought for her. And she and Alice Too appeared virtually indistinguishable, since Mama had been working out so much; she looked like she was ready to fight crime as the Mod Puma, too.

#116: Live, Coast-to-Coast

By the time Preston drove us to the TV station, Mama was already in makeup. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
        “I’m here to tell America you’re my love child,” said Mama. “I don’t know what all the fuss is about. Black folk and white folk have been getting it on since before they discovered America. Hasn’t anybody read Othello?”
        “I think Othello takes place after Columbus discovered America,” I said, “although Avie would know for sure. Besides, it’s far from the ideal love story.”
        “Othello was president of Spain,” said Mama. “If the Spaniards can do without racism in 1492, why can’t America today, in 1984?”

#115: The Burgundy Blip

I hadn’t even been Ms. Megaton Man for the longest time. Some days I was so busy with schoolwork for my own seminars and courses, not to mention my responsibilities as a TA, that I rarely even thought of being a Megahero. I felt more and more like the ordinary Civilian I had been most of my life—I hardly identified with Ms. Megaton Man at all. She had, in a sense, already gone underground—submerged in the background of studious grad student Clarissa James.
        The only visible vestige that remained were the burgundy tresses I had not time to maintain.
        I phoned Tempy first thing in the morning. “Can you come down to my apartment right away? It’s an emergency.”